3 Ways to Unmute Yourself @ Work: Elevate Your Confidence and Courage to Amplify Your Career
Have you ever let self-doubt, insecurity, or other limiting beliefs hold you back from taking confident or courageous action in your career?
If you have, you're not alone.
I've asked over 1,000 working professionals to share how they silence, doubt or hold themselves back in their careers. The most common theme across all of their responses is that self-silencing is rooted in fear.
Fear of conflict, failure, judgment, disapproval, rejection, and not being good enough.
We tell ourselves things like:
➡️ But I'm only a... (intern, admin, newbie, etc.)
➡️ But I'm an imposter...
➡️ But I'm not good enough...
➡️ But I'm not qualified...
➡️ But I'm not ready...
And all of those beliefs hold us back and stop us from moving forward with courage.
You know what makes us courageous and empowers us to unmute ourselves, to show up in the world with greater boldness and more fulfillment?
Worthiness.
Feeling like we are worthy of being seen, advocating for ourselves, speaking up, standing out, and asking for what we want and need.
Here are three steps I recommend for how to connect to a greater sense of self-worth and self-confidence, so we can move forward with courage in our careers:
1. Be Seen
Many of us don't feel comfortable letting ourselves be fully seen. We feel like we have to show up as the perfectly polished and put together version of ourselves in order to be accepted. Anything that we deem unacceptable we try to hide.
When I burned out and got mono several years ago, I was afraid to let people I worked with see the side of me that was scared and struggling. I was the Director of Wellbeing at my company, so I felt like I had to be okay, perky, happy and positive all the time, even when I wasn't.
But I'm not the only one who feels that way. A lot of people feel like they have to cover up the less than impressive parts of who they are, especially people who are the helpers and behind-the-scenes trying to support everyone around them.
Not only do we cover up our struggles, but many of us have been given the message, "Don't toot your own horn!" So we learn to hide our strengths, talents and wins and don't feel comfortable standing in and owning our accomplishments.
I wrote a previous post outlining six of my favorite questions to ask ourselves to build our confidence and clarity, so we can move forward with courage. As we start to paint a clearer picture of who we are at our core, we begin to recognize our own worth and value, independent of what we achieve or accomplish.
I also made a video about the importance of Why You SHOULD Toot Your Own Horn! 🎉 and specifically how you can do it.
Here's a question to sit with as you reflect on the importance of being seen:
What is something specific about yourself that you're proud of, value or appreciate?
Jot down your response and tell someone else about it.
It's not bragging, and it's not selfish to celebrate yourself.
Let yourself be seen.
Image credit: Steve Harvey on Unsplash
2. BYOA (Be Your Own Advocate)
Have you ever felt like you wanted to speak up and ask for something you needed or wanted at work but were so afraid of rejection or other people's judgment that you stayed silent?
You're not alone in that. It's something a lot of people do. We are often better at advocating for other people than we are advocating for ourselves. But we can learn to speak up for ourselves and take charge of our careers.
Three questions I often ask in the keynotes I deliver to help people find clarity in their careers, so they can move forward with greater confidence are:
Where do I want to GO? What do you want to do? How do you want to spend your time? What role / position do you want?
How do I want to GROW? What training, education, experience, counseling, certifications, coaching or therapy do you need to pursue to grow into who you need to become to go where you want to go?
Who do I need to KNOW? Who is already doing what you want to be doing or can be an accelerator of your path? Who can you learn from or connect with to advance more quickly?
As we reflect on those questions, we can get clearer on where we want to go and how to get there. That clarity gives us the courage to start taking action and moving forward instead of staying stuck.
3. Be Brave
After being named the #1 Health Promotion Professional in the U.S. in 2015 by the Wellness Council of America (WELCOA), I was asked to be one of the keynotes at their annual conference the following spring.
I had been a member of that organization for eight years and had attended their conference for years to learn from other thought leaders in the industry. The presentation I was asked to deliver was on the topic of nutrition. At the time, I had been working in wellness for nearly a decade and was a health coach with a Master's degree in Health Science, but here's what I wasn't:
❌ A registered dietitian
❌ A nutritionist
❌ A licensed healthcare provider of any kind
I could've responded to that invitation with something like, "Um, I don't think I'm the most qualified person to speak on that topic..."
But I didn't say that. I accepted the invitation and went on to deliver my very first national keynote in April of 2016. This year, WELCOA asked me to be the opening keynote speaker of the whole conference, where I gave the best keynote of my life! That's what can happen when we accept the invitations presented to us.
Too many of us are afraid to say "yes" to the invitations we receive because of the self-doubt and unworthiness we feel. We tell ourselves we're not enough or we're not ready, and we hold ourselves back more than anyone else. That's why I like to remind myself and others of this:
"Don't let your doubts disqualify you."
When we're asked to do something, that means at least one other person thinks we're qualified. What if we borrowed their belief in us and said YES, even if we weren't 100% sure of ourselves? That's how we get more confident - by saying yes and taking action.
I wholeheartedly believe and often say that "an invitation is an indication of a qualification." So, when you're invited, say YES!
Too many of us ending up living with regret because we say NO and disqualify or discount ourselves. But something I've learned from New York Times bestselling author, Daniel Pink, is this:
"We regret what we didn't do more than what we did do. Regrets of inaction are far more common than regrets of action."
So, choose to be bold. Choose to say yes. Accept the invitation.
You never know where that one "yes" might lead you!
Take Action
What is one way you can be more intentional about letting yourself be seen? What becomes possible in your life and work if you step more fully into that version of yourself?
What is one small and simple and one BIG and BOLD step you can take to unmute yourself at work? Imagine how you will feel once you've made the decision to tape into courage and take that step!
Keep learning by checking out some of my past articles on this topic:
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How Can I Help?
For nearly 20 years, I’ve devoted myself to helping organizations, leaders and teams go from self-doubt to self-confidence, from fear to courage, and from problems to possibilities in their life and work.
I do this through interactive keynotes, workshops, leadership trainings and retreats in-person and virtually. If you're interested in learning more about my services for yourself or someone else on the topic above or other topics, start here and we can find time to connect.
